Welcome Home

The season of gratitude, and indeed I'm giving thanks for the little things. Like being able to finally bring the knives down from their 11 year safety exile on top of the fridge.

It Didn't Quite Go Like This In My Head

"Trying is the first step toward failure." -Homer Simpson.

Easy math: An empty space and a cord to cover + some tiles found in the garage + adhesive and a piece of wood leftover from the dining room. Throw in a few weights for good measure (what could be heavier than salsa? Yep. Light mayo.), and have your hubby help you carry it into the other room since once you're done it weighs roughly 2.3 billion pounds. What exactly does that = ?

6.

Exactly six seconds things that things will look perfect until tiles will come smashing to the floor -okay, some slid - leaving shards of stones in ones eye, liquid nails on ones floor, and one very ticked spouse.

I'll let you guess which one.

Table For Four

Or should I say "Fifteen?" That's right. $15. Which, according to Jordan, is "alot of money for an gross old table." Nine year old wisdom. Or lack of vision.

My original plan was to refinish it, but when I saw the cigarette burns on the top ($15 remember?), I moved onto plan B, which involved primer, a brush, and an endless supply of energy. The top got a coat o' black, but I wanted to do a little something different for the base. Business on the top, party on the bottom, right? Too bad I didn't have any creamy vanilla colored paint. But I did have a bright white and a sandy beige. And I've watched enough Barney in my days to tell you that when you mix red and blue you get....well, something like that.... A "custom" color that makes for some loverly, albeit a bit plain, legs for m' lady. Nothing a bit of rubbed off black paint and sandpaper can't fix. Not only that, but distressing down low de-stresses me. No worries about little boy feet kicking up my paint job. How to fit five kids in four chairs? That's a whole other post.

Take It Outside

Now that this blasted brick wall with all it's crevices oh how I love that word has been tackled, this U-G-L-Y light stood out like....well, an ugly light. I happened to be cutting through the exterior light aisle at Lowes when I spotted this guy on clearance for 9.99. TEN BUCKS?? Sold. Of course, the box did read "for outdoor use."

Outdoor schmoutdoor, I always say. Or at least I do now. Perfect for shining down on piano music when I practice. Which is never. Or dust. Which, based on the bottom of that frame, is also never.

Bad Parenting. And Even Worse Video.

We were blessed to have Aunt Brenda and her friend Pat come for a quick Texas weekend trip. It was supposed to be a vacation for them, but it was more like a vacation for me. I got to sit back and relax while they were both subjected to hours of Blockus with the kids, swimming with the kids, playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl on the unlimited time setting with the kids, running around the park with the kids, trunk or treating with the kids, and being disappointed with me for not taking more photos.

Of the kids.

(But I know YOU did Pat....anytime you'd like to send 'em to me, that'd be swell.)

The least I could do was post this video like they begged me to, even though

1. it's about .03 seconds long and nothing is in focus

2. it confirms that they really should do some kind of psychological examination before you're allowed to become a mother

3. especially the kind of mother that would laugh at her children's terror. A lot.

Roger thought it would be funny on Halloween night after the boys were in bed to climb up onto the roof (they're on the second story) and bang on the window.

And I thought it would be funny to capture it on video for all posterity. Roll tape.

Some Spooky Inspiration

After listening all weekend to my kids complain about what a mean mom I am for not buying costumes this year ($20 a piece x 5 children = so not gonna happen), I told them to get creative. You know: what would Adam do? via videosift.com

P.S I have no idea how to make this box smaller.

P.P.S. And why exactly is this is considered "vintage" SNL? I remember watching this live.

Now that's spooky.

Fresno Foolishness

Thank goodness (for the general public, that is) that me and my sisters live states apart. I moved out of California 5 years ago, and that was the last time we've all been together. This last weekend my baby brother got married so we had what was, in essence, a family reunion.

Dad, Liz, Khristie, Benjamin, Jessica, me, Julia, Mom.

Could my hair look any worse? Not possible. At least I have the smallest feet.

Phillips girls are kind of like beans: the more you eat the more you toot best experienced in small quantities. But there is truly nothing better than four older sisters to give the bride a proper welcome to the family. And by older I certainly am not implying more mature. In fact, it's amazing Ben made it out of adolescence unscarred. Relatively.

I suppose, in this case, the old adage is true: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

And really hurts.

Nothing like tuning in Tokyo in front of the temple. And everyone who attended the wedding. Mom's proudest moment, to be sure.

Speaking of adolescence, watch what happens when you mix a camera and a camera.

"Lookie there, we done be on that there television screen. Just like them fancy movie stars."

Just a flip of the switch and I had it on video, without telling Khristie, which made for shaky footage given that I almost peed my pants laughing. Which made her laugh. Which made me laugh harder. Which completely embarrassed my dad and made him wonder why in the world he would even consider taking us out in public in the first place.

Or in other words, a summary of the first 18 (32?)years of my life.

And just for the record, Steven in electronics, NO -we don't drink. Thanks for asking.